Almost an Angel (1990)

…or Crocodile Dundee(1986) without the hat. Terry Dean(Hogan) is hardly a stretch for the actor, being basically him playing himself again- the easy charm, the snappy wisecracks, the cheeky grin. Sadly, whereas after the world conquering Dundee, and it’s first sequel, he really needed a strong concept film to cement his position as a star. The fact that Almost an Angel feels like a briefly sketched idea, probably caused it to flop badly, and Hogan never had another hit movie. Or perhaps audiences only liked him as Mick Dundee. The film skims along very inoffensively, but is held up single handedly by Hogan, lacking any real forward momentum, subplots or characters we care about. Linda Kozlowski funnily enough(and yes, I am being sarcastic) plays the love interest, while a young(and with added hair), Elias Koteas embarrasses himself but at least gets some experience on the way to becoming the great actor he is today. Then we have the totally mad ending, which comes out of nowhere and doesn’t make any sense, but is the most memorable part of the film. 5/10

Zombie(1979)

The confusingly titled Zombi, Zombie, Zombi 2, or Zombie Flesh Eaters, depending when and where you saw it, originally rode on the coattails of Dawn of the Dead’s success, hence the ‘2’ in its title. Directed by Lucio Fulci, who would give us varying quality of movies, but always different and always interesting (compared to Bava or Argento, his fellow countrymen), however successfully they turned out. Zombie is probably viewed as his most popular movie. The reasons for this is possibly in its straightforward telling, for a director who would often throw the audience narrative curveballs, and often be incomprehensible- (even in his better films like The Beyond(1981), here we have a simple story of mad doctor and investigating group trapped on an island populated by increasingly antagonistic zombies. It also has some of the most arresting images of his career- the eye on the splinter, the famed zombie versus shark fight, and enthusiastic performances, from amongst others, genre favorite, Ian McCulloch , who at this time was a dependable, British Tom Atkins in a run of Italian horrors. He could always be relied on to turn up in a Roger Moore like outfit, and hopeful comb over, to try to rationalize the situation or if in doubt, start a punch-up. These points win over the obvious cheapness of the production- most notably in the fiery climax, where the same shot is used again and again. Add to this the annoyingly catchy soundtrack and women willing to strip off when nothing else is going on, and your in horror heaven. 9/10

Kiss This

The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle (1980)

Julien Temple’s film is basically Malcolm McLaren’s rewrite of The Sex Pistols history, as lessons in business in how he planned everything, by the man himself. Even taking aside the fact that if McLaren is such a genius, how was he never able to repeat this success with his other bands, the film does make an interesting bookend and counterpoint to The Filth and the Fury(2000), Temple’s excellent documentary of the band members versions of events, where unsurprisingly McLaren is portrayed as a clueless buffoon(often in footage used to impress earlier) and opportunist, as amazed as anyone else at the outcry. Indeed, the best pieces of Swindle- the animation, band performance footage, and talking heads are recycled for the later doc. While what is left is hardly illuminating or of historic value, you can’t say a naked McLaren in the bath lecturing(which he does a lot) to an obviously underage naked teenage girl(one of the two images along with an gynecological glimpse of a woman that still shocks now), transforming into a Punk. There’s lots of sex, naked bodies, swearing, fighting and puking, and Ronnie Biggs apparently taking over as lead singer. If none of these at least titillate you, or the car-crash quality of the film give you some anarchy to cheer, then your best off just going straight to the much better Filth. However, if you treat Swindle as performance art- all surface and not much depth, there’s fun to have. Probably it’s greatest crime is the obvious sidelining of Rotten(who had been sacked and only appears in old footage), and the fact that the Pistols are treated as a subversive creation who can’t play or sing, to annoy everyone, instead of the tight, great band they actually were. Swindle is the Pistols seen by their manager, who perversely seems to value their music last. 5/10

A Love Story Across the Ages

Somewhere in Time (1980)

Watching Somewhere in Time again, having not watching it for several years, I was struck by two things. Firstly, it’s a lot more stately in its progress than I remember, possibly because it’s tale is so slight. Also, Christopher Reeve’s character is a lot more emotionally unstable and downright obsessed. Viewed from a certain perspective, he could have had a breakdown upon staying at the hotel and have fantasized everything else. Indeed, his character in the novel has a brain tumor, clouding the issue further. You can see why this became a Cable Cruncher, and then cult hit though. It’s chaste enough for children to watch unsupervised, but is unashamedly sentimental, containing one of John Barry’s most beautiful scores. Modern audiences, or even ones from when it was released, may not have had the patience with it, but true romantics will always hold it dear. 9/10

I ain't afraid of no Ghost

Ghost(1990)

Ghost, that blockbuster, supernatural, romantic juggernaut of 1990, has not aged well. This was the first time I had seen it after remembering a good proportion of the female members of my Secondary School going to see it. I’m actually glad I waited though, as its 20 year old fashions and styles actually make it more sympathetic than I think I would have found it originally. From the first scene of the three main characters knocking down a wall, the guys stripped to the waist in designer dungarees, Patrick Swayze’s terrible shirts, the “Ditto” response- such bad Yuppie script shorthand for unexpressed feelings, and of course the much spoofed Potter’s Wheel scene, actually gave it a cheery charm. So Demi cries, Patrick is bland, and Whoopi saves the day(a few years before we got tired of her one note schtick), the animated spirits are appallingly badly rendered, but it is a cold blooded person who doesn’t still get a little moist eyed at the sound of The Righteous Brothers or the long goodbye at the end. 6/10

The Best Film Ever Made

Jaws(1975)

I normally watch Jaws once a year, normally in May to start off my Summer- a form of sadomasicistic pleasure as I grew up in a seaside town. I’ve seen it twice this Summer, a month apart- once on the 4th July- “you’ve got a panic on your hands on the 4th July,” and am tempted to see it again, as you never know when it will be around again. It is that good, one of those rare films that you can literally watch again and again, back to back, just to relish every aspect. Not many films, not even Spielberg films can claim that- maybe Raiders or perhaps E.T. are the only other two I can think of, off the top of my head. So much has been written about Jaws( indeed, see my review on The Shark is Still Working(2006), that it is probably wise to simply state the changes I have personally noticed in watching the film. Well firstly, without a doubt, it still works. It hooked the half full audience- like most old films, I think people who’ve seen it on TV, forget how good it is on the big screen, and mix it up with the substandard sequels. Also, while the first half is peppered with great moments- Chrissie’s death, the ferry conversation, Alex Kintner’s death, Quint’s speech among many others, the second half, from the Orca leaving the dockyard, doesn’t let the audience go for a second. It was also the first time on seeing it, that I realized that Jaws is officially looking dated to me, the fashions and cars look old, the colour is too saturated, but it doesn’t matter. It may have slipped from contemporary to period piece in my eyes, but just like Psycho(1960) or North by Northwest(1959), once it’s playing, you get dragged back into the familiar story. An evergreen classic. If only Spielberg still killed dogs and children in his films with such glee. 10/10

This Doc's Got Teeth

The Shark is Still Working (2006)

This excellent documentary about Jaws(1975), has been a festival favorite since it was made but having waited patiently to see it for four years with no sign of a theatrical release, or it being used as a dvd extra, I jumped at the chance to watch it as part of the Alamo’s Shark Week. So did it live up to the hype? Well, yes, and no. By default, any documentary is going to have aspects more interesting to you than others, and this was no different. Some things I wanted to know more about were skimmed over or just not touched on- the sequels or references in other films for instance. Other things, primarily the Jawsfest at Martha’s Vineyard could have been trimmed further. What it did achieve though was some impressive new stories- the fate of both Orcas which hadn’t been heard before. It also proved it’s title true in igniting your interest in well beaten ground and making you want to watch the film again.
Richard Dreyfuss by the way is hilarious, and possibly this is responsible for getting him back in the water as the very Hooper looking character in Piranha 3D this Summer. It’s also nice to see how many directors line up to bestow their thanks on a film for changing their lives, that isn’t Star Wars(1977). Kevin Smith’s Weed to Crack analogy for the narrator of the trailer is priceless. Well worth seeing and perfect as a double feature before the movie. 9/10