Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers(1988)

You can see why some people love Halloween 4, and going to the Alamo’s sixth year showing, in a room with Owen Edgerton giving a good defense, and a crowd full of fans, it would be easy to be swayed. Halloween 4 also made a lot of money, and brought back Michael Myers again, putting him, like Halloween 1, 2 and H20, in a secure position to survive as a franchise through some less than stellar installments- Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers(1995) anyone? I hated Halloween 4 when I first saw it on video, but a couple of theatrical experiences later, I can see its limited charms, it does try hard to plug any holes from Halloween 2(1981), and continue the story with as few bumps as possible, some shots are very good, the characters are not as annoying or as thinly drawn as they later became, and of course Donald Pleasence is still fantastic value( although for my money, he’s the only thing that actually improved between this and Halloween 5:The Revenge of Michael Myers(1989), where he roughs up a child and beats Michael Myers while screaming at him, with a four by four- the Inspector Dreyfus of the Horror world, Halloween 5 is his Curse of the Pink Panther(1976). Even how 80s it looks, which originally used to irk me, now gives it a period charm. Against this though, sorry Owen, but you must be on crack to think this is better than Carpenter’s original, the kills seem toned down and tame compared to Part 2, the hunters are very annoying, as are nearly all of the characters with the exception of the Jaime and Rachel- making you not really care who gets killed, and Michael himself looks slightly off. Here is the first mask that looks wrong to me- a problem that caused reshoots on Halloween H20(1998). The climax also seems strangely anti-climatic after the great endings of the first two installments(Halloween 3:Season of the Witch(1983) was of course a totally different story), or even later sequels, like H20. In the history of the franchise, Halloween 4 deserves recognition for keeping it, like Michael himself, alive and kicking, but not much else. 6/10

Far from Brain Dead

Dead Alive, Braindead(UK)(1992)

This is the movie that made me fall in love with Peter Jackson. It was love at first sight as I rented the video to tide me over a damp, cold, early Christmas holiday in my deserted student house. I got this and Map of the Human Heart(1993), simply on the strength of good reviews, I hadn’t seen Bad Taste(1987) or Meet the Feebles(1990) yet, so had no idea of the anarchy to expect. Five minutes in, I was smitten, by the end I was ready to search out or go and see any film Jackson had made. Some people are snooty that Braindead is played more for laughs and gore than genuine horror, but even they have to respect the sheer invention on display here. Jackson, armed with a love of slapstick and horror movies, unleashes his imagination on a mock-up 50s New Zealand- Brits in particular will love the references, to The Archers, the Queen and custard- “no pudding,” as Lionel and his mother try to keep up appearances while literally falling apart, and being attacked by zombies. Like Monsters, which I saw the same weekend, both contain love stories at their centers, although while Monsters is awkwardly realistic, Braindead is the usual cheesy Hollywood romance, sweetly innocent when not hacking up bodies. Also, it has a Freudian angle second only to Pink Floyd’s The Wall when it comes to suffocating and literally monstrous mothers. Very quotable, very funny and I would guess still unsurpassed in the amount of body limbs and blood used. 10/10

Who are the real Monsters?

Monsters(2010)

Described by many critics as an artier Cloverfield(2008), or Before Sunrise(1995) with special effects, Monsters gets along way on its premise, and certainly manages a lot of bang for its buck on a small budget, however, ultimately not enough seems to really happen, horror and action junkies may feel short changed while drama fans might baulk at the silly creatures. I personally must admit that this wasn’t the film I was hoping or expecting, but once I had readjusted my expectations, I did enjoy it and was impressed at the very realistic genre mix. Worth supporting and a good alternative date movie. 7/10

Almost an Angel (1990)

…or Crocodile Dundee(1986) without the hat. Terry Dean(Hogan) is hardly a stretch for the actor, being basically him playing himself again- the easy charm, the snappy wisecracks, the cheeky grin. Sadly, whereas after the world conquering Dundee, and it’s first sequel, he really needed a strong concept film to cement his position as a star. The fact that Almost an Angel feels like a briefly sketched idea, probably caused it to flop badly, and Hogan never had another hit movie. Or perhaps audiences only liked him as Mick Dundee. The film skims along very inoffensively, but is held up single handedly by Hogan, lacking any real forward momentum, subplots or characters we care about. Linda Kozlowski funnily enough(and yes, I am being sarcastic) plays the love interest, while a young(and with added hair), Elias Koteas embarrasses himself but at least gets some experience on the way to becoming the great actor he is today. Then we have the totally mad ending, which comes out of nowhere and doesn’t make any sense, but is the most memorable part of the film. 5/10

Zombie(1979)

The confusingly titled Zombi, Zombie, Zombi 2, or Zombie Flesh Eaters, depending when and where you saw it, originally rode on the coattails of Dawn of the Dead’s success, hence the ‘2’ in its title. Directed by Lucio Fulci, who would give us varying quality of movies, but always different and always interesting (compared to Bava or Argento, his fellow countrymen), however successfully they turned out. Zombie is probably viewed as his most popular movie. The reasons for this is possibly in its straightforward telling, for a director who would often throw the audience narrative curveballs, and often be incomprehensible- (even in his better films like The Beyond(1981), here we have a simple story of mad doctor and investigating group trapped on an island populated by increasingly antagonistic zombies. It also has some of the most arresting images of his career- the eye on the splinter, the famed zombie versus shark fight, and enthusiastic performances, from amongst others, genre favorite, Ian McCulloch , who at this time was a dependable, British Tom Atkins in a run of Italian horrors. He could always be relied on to turn up in a Roger Moore like outfit, and hopeful comb over, to try to rationalize the situation or if in doubt, start a punch-up. These points win over the obvious cheapness of the production- most notably in the fiery climax, where the same shot is used again and again. Add to this the annoyingly catchy soundtrack and women willing to strip off when nothing else is going on, and your in horror heaven. 9/10

Kiss This

The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle (1980)

Julien Temple’s film is basically Malcolm McLaren’s rewrite of The Sex Pistols history, as lessons in business in how he planned everything, by the man himself. Even taking aside the fact that if McLaren is such a genius, how was he never able to repeat this success with his other bands, the film does make an interesting bookend and counterpoint to The Filth and the Fury(2000), Temple’s excellent documentary of the band members versions of events, where unsurprisingly McLaren is portrayed as a clueless buffoon(often in footage used to impress earlier) and opportunist, as amazed as anyone else at the outcry. Indeed, the best pieces of Swindle- the animation, band performance footage, and talking heads are recycled for the later doc. While what is left is hardly illuminating or of historic value, you can’t say a naked McLaren in the bath lecturing(which he does a lot) to an obviously underage naked teenage girl(one of the two images along with an gynecological glimpse of a woman that still shocks now), transforming into a Punk. There’s lots of sex, naked bodies, swearing, fighting and puking, and Ronnie Biggs apparently taking over as lead singer. If none of these at least titillate you, or the car-crash quality of the film give you some anarchy to cheer, then your best off just going straight to the much better Filth. However, if you treat Swindle as performance art- all surface and not much depth, there’s fun to have. Probably it’s greatest crime is the obvious sidelining of Rotten(who had been sacked and only appears in old footage), and the fact that the Pistols are treated as a subversive creation who can’t play or sing, to annoy everyone, instead of the tight, great band they actually were. Swindle is the Pistols seen by their manager, who perversely seems to value their music last. 5/10

A Love Story Across the Ages

Somewhere in Time (1980)

Watching Somewhere in Time again, having not watching it for several years, I was struck by two things. Firstly, it’s a lot more stately in its progress than I remember, possibly because it’s tale is so slight. Also, Christopher Reeve’s character is a lot more emotionally unstable and downright obsessed. Viewed from a certain perspective, he could have had a breakdown upon staying at the hotel and have fantasized everything else. Indeed, his character in the novel has a brain tumor, clouding the issue further. You can see why this became a Cable Cruncher, and then cult hit though. It’s chaste enough for children to watch unsupervised, but is unashamedly sentimental, containing one of John Barry’s most beautiful scores. Modern audiences, or even ones from when it was released, may not have had the patience with it, but true romantics will always hold it dear. 9/10

I ain't afraid of no Ghost

Ghost(1990)

Ghost, that blockbuster, supernatural, romantic juggernaut of 1990, has not aged well. This was the first time I had seen it after remembering a good proportion of the female members of my Secondary School going to see it. I’m actually glad I waited though, as its 20 year old fashions and styles actually make it more sympathetic than I think I would have found it originally. From the first scene of the three main characters knocking down a wall, the guys stripped to the waist in designer dungarees, Patrick Swayze’s terrible shirts, the “Ditto” response- such bad Yuppie script shorthand for unexpressed feelings, and of course the much spoofed Potter’s Wheel scene, actually gave it a cheery charm. So Demi cries, Patrick is bland, and Whoopi saves the day(a few years before we got tired of her one note schtick), the animated spirits are appallingly badly rendered, but it is a cold blooded person who doesn’t still get a little moist eyed at the sound of The Righteous Brothers or the long goodbye at the end. 6/10

The Best Film Ever Made

Jaws(1975)

I normally watch Jaws once a year, normally in May to start off my Summer- a form of sadomasicistic pleasure as I grew up in a seaside town. I’ve seen it twice this Summer, a month apart- once on the 4th July- “you’ve got a panic on your hands on the 4th July,” and am tempted to see it again, as you never know when it will be around again. It is that good, one of those rare films that you can literally watch again and again, back to back, just to relish every aspect. Not many films, not even Spielberg films can claim that- maybe Raiders or perhaps E.T. are the only other two I can think of, off the top of my head. So much has been written about Jaws( indeed, see my review on The Shark is Still Working(2006), that it is probably wise to simply state the changes I have personally noticed in watching the film. Well firstly, without a doubt, it still works. It hooked the half full audience- like most old films, I think people who’ve seen it on TV, forget how good it is on the big screen, and mix it up with the substandard sequels. Also, while the first half is peppered with great moments- Chrissie’s death, the ferry conversation, Alex Kintner’s death, Quint’s speech among many others, the second half, from the Orca leaving the dockyard, doesn’t let the audience go for a second. It was also the first time on seeing it, that I realized that Jaws is officially looking dated to me, the fashions and cars look old, the colour is too saturated, but it doesn’t matter. It may have slipped from contemporary to period piece in my eyes, but just like Psycho(1960) or North by Northwest(1959), once it’s playing, you get dragged back into the familiar story. An evergreen classic. If only Spielberg still killed dogs and children in his films with such glee. 10/10

This Doc's Got Teeth

The Shark is Still Working (2006)

This excellent documentary about Jaws(1975), has been a festival favorite since it was made but having waited patiently to see it for four years with no sign of a theatrical release, or it being used as a dvd extra, I jumped at the chance to watch it as part of the Alamo’s Shark Week. So did it live up to the hype? Well, yes, and no. By default, any documentary is going to have aspects more interesting to you than others, and this was no different. Some things I wanted to know more about were skimmed over or just not touched on- the sequels or references in other films for instance. Other things, primarily the Jawsfest at Martha’s Vineyard could have been trimmed further. What it did achieve though was some impressive new stories- the fate of both Orcas which hadn’t been heard before. It also proved it’s title true in igniting your interest in well beaten ground and making you want to watch the film again.
Richard Dreyfuss by the way is hilarious, and possibly this is responsible for getting him back in the water as the very Hooper looking character in Piranha 3D this Summer. It’s also nice to see how many directors line up to bestow their thanks on a film for changing their lives, that isn’t Star Wars(1977). Kevin Smith’s Weed to Crack analogy for the narrator of the trailer is priceless. Well worth seeing and perfect as a double feature before the movie. 9/10

Travolta on Form Shocker!!

From Paris with Love (2010)

The poster, trailer and cheekily pilfered(from the Bond canon) title of this film, plus the threat of Travolta overacting- always a double-edged sword of one part entertaining(Face Off), to two parts appalling(see pretty much everything else), did not bode well. Infact, the director of Taken(2008) was a plus negated by the Luc Besson producer credit which is not necessarily a mark of quality anymore.
As the film starts, all of my worst fears seemed to be realized. Jonathan Rhys Meyers American accent slides about uncomfortably like a contact lense that doesn’t want to stay in, while Travolta gets a big reveal scene which is instantly undercut by him swearing and shouting about energy drinks and the French. Does the plot of a big American cutting a swath through France sound familiar? Later there is also an uncomfortable Pulp Fiction(1994) reference which is in danger of reminding us of a much better film. Like Taken though, this is another slow starter which gets progressively better as it goes along. Travolta we realize is putting on his asshole façade(sometimes very amusingly with his ‘I Love Paris’ hat), rather than just being one, while Rhys Meyers, less interesting but still believable, is forced to go off book with his protocol. There is also a nicely held threat that Travolta’s Charlie Wax may turn out to be the bad guy after all. The film’s twist is sadly telegraphed but still provides a shock in the film’s best scene at a dinner party, and then doesn’t leave you enough time to question it too closely as it races for the finish with a great Ronin(1998) style motorway chase. Not Shakespeare then, but a refreshingly short action thriller with a distinctive French taste, and Travolta having more fun but also irritating us less than he has in 15 years. 8/10

Dante's Peak

The Burbs (1989)

You’ve got to hand it to Joe Dante. After upsetting everyone’s parents and scaring kids senseless with Gremlins(1984), here he gives us the only PG horror movie, disguised as a Tom Hanks comedy. Featuring serial killers, Satanism(what was it with Hanks and Satanists in the 80s- he was also chasing them in Dragnet(1987), and possibly cannibalism, the Burbs skirts deliriously close to bad taste for much of its running time. Although the tale sometimes seems too slight for Dante’s talents, he unleashes every trick in his considerable arsenal to keep it interesting, including a great soundtrack by Jerry Goldsmith aping his own Patton(1970) score everytime Bruce Dern appears. You can see why regular audiences didn’t know how to take this but for film nerds(who will wet themselves seeing Dick Miller and Robert Picardo as arguing binmen), this is manna from heaven, from the Spaghetti Western clichés to breakfast cereals called Freakies, and of course Gremlins. Dante would go on to top even this with Gremlins 2 the next year. 10/10

A Prom to Miss

Prom Night (1980)

With little to recommend it, apart from the lovely Jaime Lee Curtis, and Leslie Neilson disco dancing, Prom Night was a Canadian production (look out for the actor playing the weird janitor(obvious red herring) who plays a weird patient in Cronenberg’s The Brood(1979), made in the unenviable time between Halloween(1978) and Friday 13th(1981). You can tell the slasher template hasn’t solidified in how the film plays more like a stodgy thriller for the first half, and has little bloodshed or imaginative deaths in the second. It does still manage to steal several scenes- the psychologist, the shaggin-wagon van and fate of the owner, and of course Jaime Lee, from Halloween. Prom Night also suffers from a horrible influx of disco music and ‘ the kids’ getting ready for the prom, like a poor man’s Carrie(1976). The makers might have thought they were giving the characters depth, but instead it just makes the audience have to wade through seemingly endless soap opera plotlines before anything exciting happens to a bunch of characters we don’t care about. Curtis stands out as the natural star, but unlike Halloween or Friday 13th, this really didn’t warrant a sequel, let alone three and a remake. 5/10

Avatar

Lots of fuss was made about this one and unfortunately I didnt get to watch on the big screen although after it won the oscars, I duly added it to my queue.

I can see how this would have been visually stunning experience if watched in the cinema and it is very creative in terms of how they showcased 'Pandora' the planet where the action takes place.

Basic storyline is probably familiar - The humans (Mercenaries) led by Colonel Quatrich basically want to pillage Pandora for its natural resources.An injured marine (Sam worthington) who is supposed to be on the side of the marines (hoo-ra) takes over an avatar of the alien race to integrate and learn about the native people. At first he is shunned but eventually he wins their trust, falls in love with a blue 'Navi' female and is integrated into the tribe and helps defeat the evil human invaders.

I liked the movie even it was a little bit long. I thought that Worthington was a bit wooden, although should have expected that after Terminator Salvation performance.Signourney weaver and Joel Moore (of Fox's Bones) were solid. The last 15 minutes however was a bit over the top/ridiculous (even in the spirit of the movie which itself is fairly out there) and altogether the movie was a bit predictable and borrowed a bunch of cliched scenes from other movies. Overall 8/10 and it might have got an extra point in the theatre.

ps.It was certainly better than Surrogates which has a loosely related theme with people taking over other bodies.

He's a Big Man, and he's out of shape

Harry Brown (2009)

Harry Brown is not a date movie, also, unless your terribly unlucky, it will probably also make you very grateful for where you live. Described somewhat lazily by the press as “a British Gran Torino,” or “Deathwish for Pensioners,” the strong anchor that stops the film’s worst excesses from spinning it out to sea, is Michael Caine’s performance. Caine can say more with his eyes than most actors can with their entire faces and bodies. Just take a look at the opening scene where he reaches over to touch the pillow where his wife used to sleep, or his telling of the story of watching his mate die, to a drug dealer he’s just shot. The other members of the cast don’t get much time to register- Liam Cunningham is relegated to the background until the end, although suspicions should be triggered as soon as we see him. The gang members are walking achronisms but also, just about this side of horribly realistic. It’s refreshing as well that Harry is not superhuman, watching Gran Torino, we never really had a fear of seeing Clint Eastwood hurt. Harry Brown in contrast, has us constantly in fear for the elderly Caine. It’s to the actor’s credit appearing in something so brutal (this gang could get the drop on Jack Carter before he had a chance to say something cool), that would scare away most established, and respected Knights of the Realm. So, no date movie then, but possibly the most horrific, non-horror film you’ll see all year. 9/10

Showing Signs of Rust

Iron Man 2 (2010)

You could say that a Superhero/Action film is only as good as it’s villain. In most cases, they fall short, either being preposterously unthreatening or so ridiculously powerful that their defeat seems like a cheat. The best examples are probably still Superman 2, where the Man of Steel was matched by adversaries with the same powers and ended up having to trick them and use brains rather than brawn to win, or Star Trek 2, where the revenge motif is upfront and foremost, and Kirk too couldn’t rely on his usual firepower. Iron Man 2 isn’t up to that standard, and it’s main failing is getting Mickey Rouke(scary but at no point a real threat), and Sam Rockwell( a minor league Lex Luthor and too stupid and larky to be taken seriously) to team up, but then make the typical villain mistake of infighting rather than pooling their resources. Jon Favreau actually undercuts any suspense or tension in their scenes together, and indeed, even in the two action set pieces, with ill thought out humour- in real life people don’t crack jokes when they’re in fear of their lives. What set the first Iron Man so high was that the opening third was played admirably serious. In this, even Tony’s slow poisoning gets a quick fix before we get a chance to be concerned, or see some real self destructive behaviour- Downey’s mild meltdown isn’t as good as Christopher Reeve’s in Superman 3, which is a damning commentary. By the film’s end Favreau also brings back a hokey earlier plot device stolen from Ghostbusters-“don’t cross the streams,” and falls back on the main failing of the original film- a robot punch-up. He’s just about got away with it twice now but added to the recent, pestilent Transformers franchise, the next bad guy is in desperate need of a new modus operandi. However, it’s to the credit of director and star that the film still remains so entertaining, but this felt like pandering to the audience, not stretching the concept. 8/10

The Asphyx Gives off the Smell of Decay

The Asphyx (1973)

The Asphyx is quite possibly the slowest, least action packed horror film ever made. It concerns the Cunningham family(not Happy Days), headed by Robert Stephens as Sir Hugo. He discovers at the moment of death that an Asphyx or death spirit appears, and if you trap this, then the person becomes immortal. The concept is actually an intriguing one, and it’s to the film’s benefit that it does at least lead to several philosophical debates and a few great moments concerning beheaded and hung bodies that really should be allowed to die. The fate of his daughter in particular, actually seems worse the more you think about it, without having to witness it. Unfortunately, the film is as static as a play with all attempts to open it out a failure, the script interminably talky and the performances hilariously intense. Robert Powell(as adopted son Giles) and Stephens, pretty much holding up the film themselves, try their best but the former seems in a perpetual sulk, while the latter never seems to truly get a grip on whether his character is a total megalomaniac or flawed humanitarian. It doesn’t help that the audience finds it very hard to keep a straight face between the juxtaposition of the tragic obsession of the main characters and how seriously they are taking it, and the almost slapstick accidental deaths of the rest of the cast. Once Hugo goes from simply observing these to mistakenly causing the deaths of all those he is trying to immortalize, we start veering way too close to spoof territory for comfort. Indeed, in a strange way, this has a lot of similarities with the Omen and Final Destination series that proved so popular later, which also trod thin lines between frightening and ridiculous deaths. There are some interesting facets present though, apart from the main idea that leaves many ideas tantalizingly daggling-does the Asphyx have sentient intelligence? Can it be tricked? etc, the relationship between Powell and Stephen’s is unusually shaded for any type of film. In a typical horror movie, Powell would be the hero, and he does indeed voice apprehensions of what they are doing/tries to talk reason into Stephens, while Stephens is basically in the mad scientist role. However, as the film proceeds, Powell’s chip on his shoulder about being adopted seems to tip over into outright emotional revenge as he blames Stephen’s for pretty much everything that happens, takes no responsibility himself and ends up escaping consequences while also cursing Stephen’s by purposely ignoring their pledge. Stephens on the other hand, while he does get gripped with obsessions of his work, is always trying to do it for the benefit of others, has a very good motivation with the death of his wife and son, and after his daughter’s accidental death, does stop and want to repent. If anything, he is more a tragical figure, than the villain Powell paints him as. There are many shades of gray to both characters, but unfortunately, such is the film’s stodginess that we are never sure if this was intentional or not, it comes across as more just muddled.
So apart from a few refreshing moments, even the most dedicated horror fan will no doubt find The Asphyx a slow slog uphill for precious little reward.
6/10